The Humble Comma
A Readable Introduction to Pauseless Commas Use
from The Humble Essay, Third Edition
The most used and abused punctuation mark is the comma (,). And it's really not your fault, either, student writer, because for years your teachers have been telling you to abuse it. They've told you to "put a comma where hear a pause," a rule of thumb that works for informal, sound-based writing but not for the formal, idea-based writing required by the college essay.
The problem with this rule of thumb is that when you're writing, different pauses have different meanings. For some pauses, you need a period because the pause separates one sentence from another. For other pauses, you need a comma because the pause separates a phrase from the rest of the sentence. And for still other pauses, you shouldn't put any punctuation because that will confuse the meaning of the sentence. If you persist in putting commas where you hear pauses, you're going to screw up a lot of sentences.
Student writers cling to this rule of thumb more than any other. It's like that favorite concert T-shirt they refuse to throw away even though the band broke up eight years ago and the shirt smells like mice have been at it, which they have. It has to go, student writer. It belongs to the past. It makes you look bad. Instead of putting commas where you hear pauses, you need to learn the actual rules for using commas so that your sentences make better sense.
Here's where you start: Commas separate. They separate things within your sentence. Every comma rule explains a different way to separate the parts of your sentence so that readers can more easily understand your idea. In each section below, take a good hard look at those rules, and soon you will be using commas as they were meant to be used.
Rule #1. Lists
Commas separate three or more items in a list
Put a comma after every item in your list except for the last one. Then use a coordinating conjunction (cc) prior to the last item to tie the list together.
Here's how the rule works as a formula:
item, item, {item, etc.} cc item
And here's how it works in this partial retelling of a classic joke:
So this bear walks into a bar, sits down on a stool, and orders a beer. (a list of verb phrases)
The bartender, a policeman, and a woman all look at the bear. (a list of noun phrases)
The wise, old, but unreflective bartender tells the bear to get lost. (a list of adjectives that describe the bartender)
The bear angrily, hastily, and thirstily rises from his stool and warns the bartender that he will eat the woman if the bartender doesn't give him a beer. (a list of adverbs that explain how the bear rises)
With firmness, with clarity, and with a punch to the bear's nose, the bartender refuses. (a list of prepositional phrases that explain how the bartender refuses)
The bear then eats the woman because the bartender refuses to comply with his demand, because the bear is angry about the punch in the nose, and because he has the impression that no one in the bar is taking him seriously as a bear. (a list of dependent clauses that explain why the bear eats the woman)
There are two things to notice with these sentences.
First, the lists are always groups of the same type of word or phrase (noun phrases, verbs, adjectives, and so on). If you create a list of items and one of them is not the same type of word or phrase, it will stick out oddly for your readers. They will notice that one of these things is not like the others, and that will distract them from your idea.
Second, notice that a comma goes after the item right before the coordinating conjunction. Some of you may have been taught to omit this comma, which goes by the name "Oxford comma," or "serial comma," or "the penultimate comma." That was the case when I was an impressionable young lad with my dreams of becoming an orthodontist, but times have changed. The convention now — for reasons too obscure for you or anyone else to worry about — is to use the Oxford, serial, or penultimate comma.
If you have a professor who says to omit it, then of course omit it. That professor is old and probably closer to the grave than you think. We want his or her death to be a happy one, so play along. However, after you are done with that ancient teacher, resume using this comma.
Rule #2. Compound Sentences
This rule is much like Rule 1, where commas separate items in a list and a coordinating conjunction (cc) ties the list all together. However, with compound sentences, you use commas even when there are only two independent clauses in your list.
Here's how it looks as a formula:
Independent clause, {independent clause, etc.} cc independent clause.
Here's how it works in this partial retelling of a classic joke:
A bear walks into a bar, and it orders a beer.
The bartender tells the bear to get lost, but the bear warns the bartender that he will eat a woman at the bar if he doesn't get a beer.
The bartender still refuses, so the bear eats the woman.
Rule #3. Interruptions
This rule applies to words or phrases that interrupt an otherwise unified sentence with side information or transitions to prior sentences. You might, for example, interrupt a sentence to add a transitional phrase like "for example." When you do this, you put a comma at the beginning and end of the interruption.
Here's how it looks as a formula:
Main, interruption, clause.
There are many, many types of interruptions that require this rule, and that variety makes the rule more difficult to master than the first two. But are you scared of a little complexity, student writer? Of course not! So here are a few of your options and some examples that will illustrate how this rule applies to the actual sentences of this partial retelling of a classic joke:
1. Appositives are words or phrases that rename a noun phrase. They only make sense when they come immediately after that noun:
A bear, Smokey, walked into a bar and ordered a beer.
2. Asides are brief comments from the writer that provide extra information or commentary about the main clause as a whole:
The bartender, like so many people, did not like bears and frowned at Smokey. (In this aside, the writer notes that this bartender was not alone in his dislike of bears. It's not a part of the main idea.)
Smokey, alas, cared only about getting his beer. (This aside notes the writer's sadness about Smokey's drinking problem — also not part of the main idea.)
3. Transitions are words or phrases that tell the reader how this sentence is connected to other sentences in your writing, or maybe how this sentence fits into an organizational pattern:
Smokey, therefore, ignored the frown and now demanded a beer.
The bartender, in response, told Smokey to get out of the bar.
4. Negations are words or phrases that briefly state the opposite of a word or phrase in order to highlight the importance of that part of your main clause. The immediate contrast gives extra emphasis to the original word or phrase:
Smokey is enraged, not intimidated, by the bartender.
5. Attributions are words or phrases that briefly identify the source of a quotation or idea — or possibly state that this is something you think or believe as the writer.
Smokey, according to the police report, then threatens to eat a woman at the bar if he was not served a beer.
The bartender, the report goes on to say, still refuses.
6. Direct address talks directly to the reader. This is used only with informal writing, but informal writing should be correctly punctuated, too:
So Smokey, my dear student writers, eats the woman.
7. Participial clauses are another type of dependent clause. They have this technical name because they are built around the "participle" form of a verb. This is either the –ing form (present tense, as in, "I am learning so many new terms.") or the –ed form (past tense, as in, "I wish I had learned these terms in fifth grade."). These clauses usually interrupt the main cause to add more information about the subject:
The police, responding to the bartender's phone call, quickly arrived on the scene.
Smokey, covered by blood, was the obvious suspect.
8. Relative clauses are like participial clauses, but they are trickier because you have to decide whether they interrupt the main clause or provide essential supporting information. If you decide they interrupt the main clause, they're called nonrestrictive relative clauses — there's a term that will impress your friends — and follow this rule. If you decide they provide essential supporting information to the main clause, then they are called restrictive relative clauses and do not follow this rule.
Here's what it looks like in practice:
The police officer who arrested Smokey charged him with drug abuse. (This relative clause is restrictive because "who arrested Smokey" tells us which officer charged the bear, and that helps to explain the main clause. Rule 3 does not apply.)
Smokey, who can't believe the charge, objects. (This relative clause is nonrestrictive because it does not provide essential supporting information about what happens in this main clause. Rule 3 applies.)
There's more to be said about relative clauses, of course, and your writing professor — or the Internet — or your handbook of English grammar — would love to talk with you about it.One side issue with this rule is that interruptions can also come at the end of the main clause. When that happens, you put a comma before the interruption and only ending punctuation at the end of it:Smokey objects to the charge, which makes no sense to him. (nonrestrictive relative clause)It makes no sense to many listeners, of course. (aside)That's just how jokes like this work, however. (transition)
